It's a freaky Friday roundup, for shizzle

Imagine my amusement on finding this book that my bf apparantly read as a wee lad.

Yes, it's Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm and the Witch Who Ran Out of Jizzle. You can see it was purchased for 20 cents at Bradlees, which in the pre-Wal-Mart/Target era, was every mom's favorite discount emporium, along with Caldor, with its brown rainbow logo. (And before them, I think, it was Two Guys? At least where I'm from.)

No matter! Clearly, there's something much more important to discuss. 

JIZZLE! Apparently a certain slang term I'm thinking of was not established yet in 1974. But at least if it's a witch running out of this substance called "jizzle," it's probably not a guy...right?

WRONG! This fellow is pictured here on the title page on his knees, looking for some more jizzle. But then, after he arrives on a broomstick with a "Splut! Splutter!" the witch reveals its name is Hazel. (Witch Hazel, get it?!!?) So then Pebbles asks "Da Da Goo Goo" and the witch of undetermined gender asks where the nearest jizzle station is. It goes on, but I don't want to ruin the ending for you.

(It's happy.)

(Hee hee.)

Who knew?

I had never paid attention to Mo'Nique before, but apparently she's awesome. I just watched her comedy special filmed at the Ohio State prison for Women and let's just say, there was LOL'ing going on. Not since Johnny Cash... well, not since Metallica maybe has a cultural figure rocked the prison in such a caring manner. It was quite touching, and I nearly cried at the end, as did Mo'Nique. Then again, I did cry watching the Rankin-Bass special Santa Claus is Coming to Town the night before. There's no telling what'll set me off the further away I get from angry teenage CoKane.

Get in shape, girl!

So, in anticipation of going back home for the holidays, and spending time again in NYC, and hoping to not look like I've been eating as much cheese as I have and drinking as much beer as I have while also walking less than ever, I've broken out my pilates DVD for the first time since moving. In the past, I've made efforts to get more in shape if I was, say, going to be in public in a bathing suit, or going to visit a gentleman friend. Now I'm trying to get in shape for a city.

Until I get my "Pilates for Indie Rockers" and "Yoga for Indie Rockers" DVDs for Christmas (with an instructor named Chaos? Could there be a less appropriate name for a yoga instructor except possibly Black Metal?), I'm using the old standby pilates DVD hosted by Liz Gilles. I'm fond of this DVD, and can recite all the words, but one of my favorite parts about it is Cory. There are a few gals performing the routine behind Liz, and one is a turbo-muscular woman who is doing a more extreme version of the exercises than Liz. I don't look at her; instead I watch poor, sweet, sleepy, lazy Cory, who does the more gentle versions and who always looks like she might have fallen asleep for just a wink or two on the floor exercises. I have never been one for strenous exercise, but even I never need to do any of the easier Cory modifications.

Everybody should have a Cory to make them feel better about themselves.

Do they know it's Christmastime at all?

These favorite local flowers of mine just made another comeback, reappearing with a fresh round of trumpet-like blooms in December. What? And those red ones from our backyard that I've posted here before are still kicking. That is just craziness. It's certainly pretty, but let me get to some snow.

UPDATE: And we also have the first baby Creole tomato! (In just about the center of the photo) So I heard December and January are the real "winter" months here? Does this mean I can garden all year round? Sweet.

Comments

[Joshua]

I'm not sure about that plant you featured there, but I can say that you were on the right trail with your words on that red/orange vine. It's trumpet creeper, Campsis radicans. Hummingbirds love it so keep an eye on it.

[Kitty]

Lol, I still use the FIRM brand VHS workout tape I've had since college...featuring Janet Jones Gretzky.

[JDizzle]

Jizzle huh? Looks like my secret is now exposed!

[Alison/Lilshametongue]

If you don't hang out with me when you come to NYC, I will find you. And then I will kill you.

TWO GUYS????

YOU KNOW ABOUT TWO GUYS?????

Thank you, from the very abundant and restful lap of my elephant-headed Lord, Ganesha, for taking me through the space/time continuum to TWO GUYS!!! As a wee lass, I once told my father (very earnestly, mind you) that when I grew up, I wanted to work there. As a cashier. Needless to say—my parents never let me forget it.

And please do comment on my blog. It sorely needs/wants validity. And feel free to invite your friends!

[Jules]

ha! I remember Two Guys too. Do you also remember Teppers Department Store?

[meanieT]

Oh my gosh, Kitty! I love those Firm tapes. I've used them for years and everyone makes fun of me. I love how the lead workout person always has a gold chain on or some kind of jewelry to designate their status.

Wow, that jizzle witch needs to gt some help.

[cokane]

josh, good to know!

jdizz, i was thinking of you when i posted this!

alison, lol. normally i get creeped out by death threats, but not this time. what's your blog? are you the alison i know?

jules, that sounds dimly familiar, like Corvette's.

meanie, dont' worry, witch hazel did get help from a little pair we know as pebbles & bamm-bamm

[JDizzle]

I feel so honored!! Thanks!

[Alison/Lilshametongue]

Yes. The porn Alison from Celebrity Skin.

And to think I coulda been a cashier at Two Guys instead of spending my workdays covering James' ass!

And by blog, I mean my MySpace blog. The one I demand you participate in, Subscriber, you. And your little friends, too...or I will send my flying monkeys to do my evil bidding before the red sand in my insanely all-out-of-proportion hourglass runs out!

[roopa]

Oh dude I remember Caldor!!!

Jizzle? JIZZLE? Seriously? Where the hell did you find that book?

And speaking of getting in shape for a city, I better bust out MY pilates DVDs (mine are with Mari Winsor, and I am ashamed to say I bought them at 2 am a few years ago and I actually CALLED to order them because I was so entranced by her sales pitch) so that I can fit into my standard NYC New Year's Eve dress. It's kind of a joke now that I have been wearing the same dress for the past 6 years. I'm going to wear it every year from here on out, assuming I can fit my non-walking, beer-drinking self into it.

I wish it were 5 pm already. I want to get out of here and go to happy hour...with no one. Dammit, I miss NYC!

[Kettle]

I can't believe it's 77 in December. And people are complaining about it being cold.

Although I was amazed by the frost on the leaves the other morning.

[Big Daddy]

I thought of JDizzle as well.

Ha.

[Randy]

You can trip on angel trumpets. Though it's easy to take a lethal dose of them as well.

[tracy]

I did work as a cashier at Caldors in high school, and I loved it. Even got promoted to making pretzels.

Plus, those stores (Bradlees, Korvettes, etc...) were where folks bought record albums and singles, in the record department. Singles were fun, only 50 cents!

[Caitlin]

Indie Rock Pilates? Where can I get that??

Even though 'winter' is not much of a concept here, January and February are colder, in my opinion. You pretty much can garden all year round. Get some winter veggies growing!

[Trey]

I need some new pants.

[cokane]

Roop, you and me both. When will you be back? We should hang out!

Kettle, I can't believe I was wearing a tank top & shorts today. That ain't right.

Randy, so that's why my bf was acting like such a weirdo.

Tracy, awesome! I still have some of those record singles, with my name written on them in bubbly little girl script, so they wouldn't get lost by the school dance DJ.

Cait, you can get that DVD on the Internets like everything else. www.fitnessforindierockers.com

Trey, somehow you linked to some weirdness involving male genitalia that I hadn't seen before. Bravo to you, sir. and also, Damn you.

[NYC Ponderings Chic]

the title is like bam bam's first rap song!

[the cajun boy]

any flintstones afficionato can tell you that this was the sequel to "fred and wilma, barney and betty and the wizard who ran out of spooge."

the prequel was better, as is always the case.

[misanthropegirl]

You need to watch Queens of Comedy. Monique is fucking HILARIOUS.

[doug]

Hey, I just blogged about this same book. Then I found your blog and linked to it.

Doug
http://dougsploitation.blogspot.com/

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