My Winter Vacation, part 2

On the flight into Newark, the pilot's slight NYC metro tough-guy accent would not have sounded out of place saying "You talkin' ta me?" but it did sound out of place coming over an airplane intercom. Normally that might have been a minor cause for concern, but this time, it was music to my ears. The literal music that shuffled its way into in my headphones as we prepared to land was provided by NYC indie heroes Sonic Youth: "Diamond Sea." And speaking of time taking its crazy toll (as that song goes), I'd been mulling while on that flight about how perception of one's age might be tied in to one's surroundings. I got some answers on this east coast leg of the trip.

Before we left Baton Rouge for our holiday travels, I'd been feeling that in just the four-month span since we'd moved down there, age was catching up with me. No longer could I eat what I wanted without also making extra effort to exercise to compensate for the 95% less walking I was now doing. No longer was I surrounded by as many or more friend options as I had in college, and all of the corresponding laughter and support. And whereas the bottom of my purse used to collect ticket stubs from movies and rock shows and exhibits, now my keyring was collecting little plastic membership tags from various evil chain stores. Also, I now drove a minivan. How did this happen? 

We'll return to that in a moment. First, it was Jersey family Christmas time. Not much to comment on there other than a certain soon-to-be-fiance of mine playing several hours of Disney Princesses on the Wii with a certain wee niece of mine.

After a few days in the good old Jerse, we headed in to the city. The bf grew practically giddy when, at the Metro Park train station, he heard a young woman casually utter an obscenity when her bag stuck in the doorway. We hear so little of that in daily life now that we were almost like, "Oh my!" I choked up on seeing the skyline from the train, and finally at Penn Station we transferred to the subway. We had to transfer again at our former home subway stop in Brooklyn, and there were tears in my eyes. The bf told me to stop being a fag. Didn't I used to hate the subway?

The first order of business once we settled in with our host was to meet up with bff ecs, visiting from Australia! I got on the F train, thinking, Nobody knows I don't live here. Just blendin' in on the train. We met up at Kate's Joint, even though we now realize it sucks, because we have so much history there. My gut later paid the price, loudly rumbling most of the next day (as did my wallet--how dare that place charge so much?!). Ecs' hubby Ed presented me with a buffalo wing pendant he'd made, in honor of the oily blobs of deep-fried tofu I used to live for.

And though I'd been back less than a day, already I had entered the bargaining stage.

Dearest NYC, I know we decided to split up for numerous reasons, but I can change! Take me back. I promise I'll be more rich this time so I won't resent you as much.

I was also mentally comparing living in New York without money to trying to date someone who's not emotionally available. You kind of have New York? But you don't really have it. If you're not loaded, you can have the bagels, but not the Butter (which I think was a schmancy restaurant the Olsen twins used to go to). I hope someone knows what I'm talking about. Ecs will. We had a sad convo about it that first night. That was after whiskey number two, which she defended by saying "it was cold," which was the exact excuse I was going to use if necessary.

The next day, New Year's Eve, was when the bf and I began walking from Brooklyn over the Brooklyn Bridge as bf/gf and arrived in Manhattan as an engaged couple. We met up with ecs, Ed, and their visiting Aussie buddy at Union Square to surprise them with the ring, then adjourned to the Gramercy Park Hotel for a bottle of champagne. It was happy times. I could not have asked for a better time or place for the engagement.

And now that happy days were here again, about that feeling-older bit. It melted away when I got back to New York. I was surrounded by friends again, had unlimited choices and possibilites. I walked as much as possible, like it was medicine, and it was. I felt right again. The city is alive, and you pick up on that, and become part of it, just like a city with a lot of visible abandonment and disrepair feels, well, dead. You (I) pick up on that, too. I'm now seeing NYC as a personal Shangri-La. As long as I stay, I can never grow old and never die (it's also like Cocoon!), but depart for long enough and reality will catch up. When I'm outside of the astronomical rents of the city, especially in the suburbs, the question always becomes, Wait, I'm how old and I don't own a home or have any savings to speak of?

The day had already been so great that I really wasn't expecting much from New Years Eve, as many people have learned to do over the years. So we were happily blown away by the party we attended, somewhere in far Williamsburg, really probably Bushwick or Bed-Stuy, in an enormous loft apartment with like 400 other revelers. 

 

It was one of those parties you almost never find, like a party you see in a movie or on TV, where there's no awkwardness, people just come through the door and instantly commence raging. Fortunately, there was a Designated Rage Zone for such purposes. We didn't enter the DRZ quite yet.

Ecs, Ed, and visiting Aussie kid (the last whom who had been drinking gin & tonics in our newly-engaged honor since we had parted ways hours before) were already quite festive with large gin and tonics, easy on the tonic.

Whereas after moving South I noticed a prevalence of blondes, now I was surprised to notice how many girls had that generic black-dyed hipster shag cut. Why was I surprised? I suppose they'd just blended in before. Now that I hadn't seen them in awhile, they were more noticable.

We went up on the roof for midnight with hundreds of other partygoers who we couldn't really see in the darkness, but it didn't matter. What we could see were the Manhattan and Jersey City skylines, and at midnight, the fireworks over the rivers. It was probably around then we were declaring it the best party ever.

Ecs had moved on to both OE and wine, which was fun for the duration of the party but in the long run proved to be not such a great idea. The poison for finace and I was Brooklyn beer, becuase we could...and then wine. (Also fun at the time and not a good move in retrospect.) But meanwhile the Aussie lad was on his 27th gin and tonic of the day (below, right) and showed no sign of waning. Kids! He later told us his only memory of the fiance & I that night was us saying goodbye.

'Member when that girl Dana famously peed on my roof last summer? Draw your own conclusions about how that relates to this graffittid rooftop photo, except that in some partygoers' possible defense, the coke bathroom line at this party was about half a mile long.

Finally after enough of a warmup, we plunged into the Rage Zone, which at this point was a mosh pit. The song was Weezer's "Surf Wax America." (tuff, right?!)

It was such ridiculous fun that I declared we were going to play that song at our wedding, and ecs promised she would start up the mosh pit. I can't wait. It has been a good probably 12 or so years since I've attempted entering a pit, and more like 17 years since I'd attended a wedding that had one. I laughed all the way home, when I wasn't conked out against the fiance on the subway.

FIANCE: "What are you laughing at?"

ME: [more laughing]

(I didn't know.)

Best New Year's ever.

The next day I noticed my boots were mysteriously smeared with what looked like glow-in-the-dark paint. I blame the Rage(/rave?) Zone.

Comments

[Jules]

Great post. Glad you made so many amazing happy memories.

[Joshua]

That first photograph absolutely kicks ass.

[Maine Man]

Don't worry, you are still young. i got tired and hungover just reading the post.
Now I'm having an age crisis!!!
AHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

[roopa]

"We had to transfer again at our former home subway stop in Brooklyn, and there were tears in my eyes. The bf told me to stop being a fag. Didn't I used to hate the subway?"

The SAME THING happened to me when I pulled into the Bergen St. stop on the F a few months ago. WTF? I used to curse the F train every day of my life, multiple times, in fact, but now I cry when I ride it? We are fags, but whatever. I'm just glad that there's someone else who does the same thing - it makes me feel less gay about missing NYC so much.

[Therese]

You know what else you used to hate? Williamsburg.

Also, ECS's hair looks fantastic.

Also, I miss you already.

[ecs]

Thanks Therese! Dude that partay was so much fun. And it was in Williamsburg...but in the Hasidic part. Yes, we were at a Hasidic Jewish New Year's Party. Jews know how to rage!

[Alison/Lilshametongue]

While I appreciate the sentiment, I think you could be swayed by the sentimentality of all of the glittery, good, lovely, wonderful, magical and quite simply life-definingly unforgettable things that happened to you while you were here.

And wherever you go...there you are!

Trust me: The Shitty still sucks a big, black dick. And not in the good way. It's the leaving-and-visiting that makes you think it somehow improved, or that you somehow changed. And it hasn't, btw, but you always will.

Sorry. Just realized I'm beginning to sound like Doug Henning....

[ecs]

P.S. Mary looks like a small baby doll in Tom's lap.

[Kartek]

Whenever I returned to Jersey from grad school in Davis, CA, I felt like I was in some sort of dreamy surreal time warp. It was like I had to pinch myself that I was back. Kind of like the reverse process of when I moved to Davis was all in awe of the palm trees and cacti.

[bk]

When reading ecs' comments I imagine the words in the voice of Derek Zoolander. Don't know why...it just keeps happening...

"Earth to Mikos. While I appreciate the sentiment, I think you could be swayed by the sentimentality of all of the glittery, good, lovely, wonderful, magical and quite simply life-definingly unforgettable things that happened to you while you were here."

Ya see?

"I think I got the black lung, Pop. Ahew, ahew."

[Beth]

Hey-i know it is unpopular sentiment to not be a huge fan of the big city. But I have to be honest-for me-a country girl-going into NYC always felt like I was going underground for the period of time. ANd don't get me wrong-I ALWAYS had a blast-But leaving I felt like I was coming back above ground.
That being said-your description of your time in Brooklyn, etc...made me feel very differently and for a split second I wanted to move and live there. You ARE an awesome writer.
Great post!

[amy]

this is my new favorite cokane blog post! congrats again!

[meanieT]

Cute pic of Tom and your niece.
I've always thought that about NYC; sort of a lost boys, never grow old kind of place. It's one of the few places where you can get away with it. Minivans and kids are pretty ubiquitous here. I refuse to get a minivan, though!
I like ECS's hair, it's a good look.

[Alison/Lilshametongue]

I need to write this: I am put off by bk's comment about my comment—and ecs should be, as well, as bk incorrectly attributes my writing to her.

What a dick. Especially when I, myself, acknowledged that I thought I might be beginning to sound like Doug Henning. Talk about getting the joke twenty minutes later....

Also, I would think on a blog as small and personal as this, with few readers, one would realize that it's a friendly environs.

People I don't know SUCK.