Please excuse Colleen from blogging today
This morning I was fresh out of coffee, so I strolled over to the bodega CVS Crossings to pick some up. On a whim, I decided to finally sample one of those little bottles of EXTREME ENERGY. Hey, it's got 2200% daily value of Vitamin B6. I could use an extra edge. Maybe I'd be super-focused and on top of my game! Who knows what I will have accomplished by the end of the six hours?
I know you're not supposed to combine this product with coffee, but I gots to have my coffe, so I had one tall mug. Then I chugged the liquid, which apparently was "Wildberry Flavor.' Obeying the package's advice, I braced myself. I got ever so slightly jittery.
And then my day proceeded pretty much exactly as usual. Until the six hours was over, when I started to feel a malaise. It gradually turned into headache. The package says to discontinue use and see a doctor if that happens. What am I, some kind of rich person who can see a doctor anytime she wants? If I were, I could get a scrip instead of buying shady snake oil products. More than four hours and one pain reliever later, my brain now feels like this puddle, complete with my dog in it.
The ball represents...I don't know what it represents. You decide. Here's another picture of Cooper getting filthy in the puddle. I'ma go lie down now.
UPDATE: 24 hours after taking this, my brain is still not de-fuzzed.
UPDATE 2: It's a testament to how addled my brain was/is that I did not point out sooner these ingredient categories found on the package: Blazing Focus (TM), Extreme Energy Tech (TM) and Herbal Scorch (TM).
Oh noooooooo...those energy shot things are the worst. Next time you need a jolt, just go for good old fashioned diet pills. Works every time.
Posted by: Kitty | February 20, 2008 at 09:38 AM
I bet Meth is healthier for you.
Posted by: Maine Man | February 20, 2008 at 09:55 AM
Crack in a can.
More Cooper pics please. I like your doggie; he is cute.
Posted by: roopa | February 20, 2008 at 10:11 AM
Kitty, I know! I don't want to have a Jessie Spano incident, though.
Maine & Roop, srsly. I am dum. I am still not back to normal 24 hours after consuming that junk.
Also, trying so hard not to start Coop Overload, the latest free blog from cokane who really ought to get paid for most efforts.
Posted by: cokane | February 20, 2008 at 11:22 AM
OMG!!!
I just had an Xtreme®™©™ MAKEOVER in my preparations for my return to bloggerland. (You may not even recognize me).
I think I'm going to launch it in a few weeks...
Right now I'm going out for coffee.
*Smoochas*
Liouxie
Posted by: Lioux | February 20, 2008 at 11:57 AM
i know some people who swear by those energy shots. i'm pretty sure they're aliens.
Posted by: austin | February 20, 2008 at 11:58 AM
...read that as "Herbal Scotch"
Posted by: Kettle | February 20, 2008 at 03:52 PM
oh man-oh man oh man-remember that crap-olean or olestro-it made chips like pringles fat free or something. I ate some pringles with that in it with my sister-in-law and we had the same reaction. Out for the day and night with sick, headache, malaise. I hope you feel better soon.
Posted by: Beth | February 20, 2008 at 04:02 PM
Too bad they don't make Mini Thins with ephedrine in 'em still.
You'd a been up for days.
Posted by: Big Daddy | February 20, 2008 at 05:18 PM
Blazing Focus (TM), Extreme Energy Tech (TM) and Herbal Scorch (TM) are all found in nature. It's called refined crack.
Posted by: ecs | February 20, 2008 at 05:21 PM
Next time you need an energy boost, just have Coop start dancing with you. Toss those craze energy drinks. Nothing good can come from them.
Posted by: kartek | February 20, 2008 at 06:05 PM
Hubby loves Monster Energy Drinks. I always know when he's had one. He becomes a bouncing baby boy.
Hope you're feeling better.
And drink green tea for that same high! It's so much healthier.
Posted by: Jules | February 20, 2008 at 09:34 PM
you should have bought a pack of smokes while you were at the bodega-aid to top it all off. cooper is awesomeness. cooper blog!
Posted by: amy | February 21, 2008 at 12:28 AM