Schlitz n Giggles Friday

In an ideal world, I should be the editor of Cheese Magazine--cheese as in cheesy, but hopefully this title would also get me many free samples of gourmet cheeses. Or, if Tom Scharpling decided to make a magazine themed around his term Awfulsome, I would ideally be a writer on their staff.
On the cheesy and awfulsome note, BFF/commenter Meanie T made my week by introducing me to the Utah filmmaker Stephen Groo. Some of you know of my obsession with Tommy Wiseau of The Room fame. But tragically Tommy has only made one full film and one totally bizarro trailer for a TV show. Groo is much more prolific, with more than 100 works under his belt. According to Meanie T, these films are dead serious, not ironic, and they often utilize fresh-faced local Mormons as actors, including numerous Mom-jeaned wholesome younger women.

I've only scratched the surface of the collection, available here on the website, with categories like Drama, Sci-Fi, and Horror, but here's some brief notes on a few I have watched. Some of these works are music videos, such as "The Boys of Summer," which when it says "nobody on the road" depicts nobody on the road, and ditto for the lyric "nobody on the beach." Now, I haven't been to music video school, but I would guess that literal translation of lyrics might be the first thing they tell you not to do. I'm not saying I don't break rules here and there...just saying Groo is a risk-taker. And although there's a comedic thread through other films, there's only one entry in the Comedy category, the perplexing work labeled on the site as "Gardners," which has a minute-long scene depicting Groo inhaling helium. Turns out when you inhale helium, your voice gets all high and weird! Oh, you've known that since you were five? Just sit tight, because the clip then becomes a campus-wide singalong to "She's Got the Look." That's comedy!

There are even parallels in a few movies to my main man Tommy Wiseau: Dialogue from the trailer for Challenge of Faith: "I got a promotion." "What's your new position?" "President." Only it looks like things don't turn out quite as expected...!

Anyway, welcome to a magical wonderland of time-wasting amusement. Thank Meanie T! Her sister went to school with that guy. 

***

Speaking of BFFs, and acronyms, ecs turns 30 this weekend! Happy Bday to the coolest young lady in whatever hemisphere she's in. Read about her recent explorations doing pretty much the same thing I'm doing, but in Australia.

***

Recently the fiance and I checked out the newish downtown pizza place, Schlitz n Giggles. It's adjacent to two popular bars (same owners), and should be a no-brainer: Drunk people eat pizza. Their tagline is, "Silly name, serious pizza." Our number-one issue was, if they're so serious about pizza, why do they employ the Domino's method of conveyor belt pizza-grilling instead of using pizza ovens? And why do they then charge $20+ a pie to do so? And as much as I feel like an a-hole paying $2 for a can of crap beer (the titular Schlitz) in NYC, I feel even more so doing this in Baton Rouge. Shouldn't we be able to get a case of Schlitz for $2 here?

So, In case there is any confusion: Domino's is not pizza. Papa John's is not pizza. If it's like you're eating a flattened old pillow with cheese on top, it's not pizza. All that being said, the stuff at this place tasted more like pizza then what you find at those chains. But there's no reason to pay $20+ for a pie again.

***
In the new Abandoned Baton Rouge, we visit an old sugar processing plant with scary results.

***
Another preview from the live Gossip DVD, out the 15th: Yr. Mangled Heart

***

Looking out my back door, here's a gecko like, mating with the deck or something:

***
I'm out. I'm either going to V-Day V to the Tenth in New Orleans this weekend, or to a crawfish boil. I suspect that unless an assignment to cover V-Day comes up, laziness will win again and I'll find myself face to face with one of these insectile water creatures. Ew.

Comments

[Patrick Swayze®™©™]

V-Day?! Do you mean to tell me it's Valentines Day in Baton Rouge?

Hmmm.

[beatrix]

crawfish are the roaches of the sea.

[therese]

Why can't anyone outside of the Northeast get pizza (or bagels) right? I've heard people go on at length about things like altitude and mineral content of the water, but no one can back up any of their theories.

[beatrix]

also, if you want amazing pizza, try slice on st. charles in nola. delicious.

[meanieT]

My fave Stephen Groo films are "hypnotized" and "A Challenge of Faith". Oh, and "Mermaids" Enjoy!!

[kartek]

Sometimes they can't get pizza right in NE either. It never fails to amaze the pizza joints that manage to survive even if their pizza has absolutely no taste or flavor.

[Alexis]

Try Fleur de Lis on Govt. St. if you haven't already.
If you can stand the smell of the bar then it's worth it. yum!
Last time we were there a couple celebrating thier 50th anniv. was there and said they celebrated there b/c it was the only place that was really hadn't changed (in a good way, I think)

[Joshua]

Yeah, Fleur de Lis is the poo. Just had some Friday. Around The World, holla!

And that's an anole, a kind of lizard. Not a gecko. Gecko are the spotted grey things that showed up a few years back. They weren't here before, rumor is they're from NOLA. Serious, as a kid, they weren't around.

The anole, on the other hand, has always been here.

[roopa]

Oh, I hear you on the pizza. And no one should ever pay more than $1 for a can of Schlitz. EVER.

[Randy]

If you ever go back the S&G and want to drink beer, go for the $5 pitcher of "house beer". Yeah, it's Keystone, but does it really matter? Once you go below a certain quality level of beer, it pretty much all tastes the same.