Friday: OMG LOST Finale! (No spoilers)

Just have to say: OMG LOST. Please don't put any spoilers in the comments, my lovely commenters. I just had to vent some of the pent-up suspense and anxiety and emotions from the finale. OK, done.

I've been working overtime this week so when I go away I won't feel guilty (ha ha ha, as if) or at least not have to stop at Internet cafes to work. My faithful companion Coopy's been working hard, too, as you can see here. I hope he enjoyed that Playgirl he's resting on.



(I pledge that when I'm off on adventures there will be less pictures of pets and creatures that have invaded the house, as has been the theme of late. )

Although speaking of pets, I got back in touch recently with my Canadian actor friend Dwayne, who you might recognize as the pervy Coach Carr from Mean Girls. I think the Great White North is even more different from the South than America's North is, so he's been fascinated by my blogs. He was also kind enough to send this touching message:

Having just read about Gypsy's passing I am truly saddened. Although Gypsy and I had a troubled relationship at best, that somehow didn't prevent me from falling in love with her (Battered spouse syndrome?). As a small tribute to to the 11 lbs of distant behaviour that I call 'The Gypster' here's some pics I took during my last visit.

I'm sharing this shot rather than a more confrontational pose, because it shows the softer side of Gyp.



I can haz immortality?
 
It reminds me of a dreamy school portrait, only much better quality. Dwayne is multitalented!

*

Stuff what I saw on the TV:

Clearplay--dunno if this is movie-censoring device is being advertised as much in the godless Northeast, but this DVD player edits out sex, profanity, and violence from movies. I'm a bit disturbed by it, but now at least the wholesome family depicted snuggling their goddamn heads off on the Clearplay homepage can watch Faces of Death III together.

Goldkit.com-- here's a tagline I made up for this scrap-gold-selling kit: "We're not saying you should rob graves, but..we're kinda saying that."

While the fiance's away, I have been watching movies from on-demand categories he would normally veto: old classics that aren't war-or-otherwise dude-related, foreign language, and cheesy horror. I thought the Belgian horror film Calvaire might hit two categories at once, but it wasn't cheesy. I recommend it to fans of creepy movies.

And Dwayne will like this one, I caught a show on The Travel Channel called "Deep Fried Paradise," which mostly focused on guess what region of this country? So I learned of yet another culinary innovation of the South, Chicken-Fried Bacon. CFB is SIX slices of bacon stuck together, battered, deep fried, then served with cream-based gravy. The segment ends like so: [Obese man, lustily regarding the CFB he is about to demolish] "Fat on fat. Heart attack waiting to happen." CRUNCH.

I found this criticism about the program online: Would you believe they totally missed the deep fried breaded pork tenderloin sandwich? Probably produced by New Yorkers or Calfornians missing flyover land once again. [:(]

Yep, those New York and California producers, with their lack of comprehensive knowledge about insane things to eat. They're probably eating something that won't instantly kill them as we speak. Possibly even vegetables.

*

Last weekend, acting on a text-messaged tip, I found the new EP from Polly Math, Kid vs. Camera, in my mailbox. I still don't know much about the band, but I do know that their EP covers a lot of ground in just five songs. It's got pretty harmonics, harmonicas, acoustic guitar and heavy high hat, but when Polly Math goes electric, they rock the jangly guitars and spacey jammz (the latter phrase was an attempt to describe my favorite track, "Bury the Cures"). It's all available on iTunes and is brought to you (and my mailbox) by American Thrift Media.


Did that make sense? I am fried.

*

Finally, totally file this under "clam chowdaaaa" because it's been rumored for years, but the owner of Urban Outfitters doesn't want you to know that (from the article),  "[he]  is a stanch conservative who donates money to Republican politicians, not least Rick Santorum, a now failed Senator whose views on homosexuality are both bizarre and old-fashioned."

On a personal note,  I stopped in to Urban A-holes this weekend to see what could be had for under $10, and noticed a whole new problem--not just the usual "this will fall apart after two washes" issue, there's also a size issue there. As in, clothes labeled "medium" will clearly be different sizes, when you hold up two mediums of the same style next to each other. I found this to be true with both tops and undies items (yet still bought several el cheapo items). Guess they aren't being too rigorous on sizing in those sweatshops.

Anyway, I'm exhausted, both from the week and from three hours of LOST. Have a good weekend everybody.

Comments

[vl100butch]

alright kane, are you ready for duty at the Box this afternoon? i want to see some more culture shock thank you very much ;-)

[alex v cook]

The readed pork tenderloin sandwich is a Midwestern thing, one of the few transcendent contributions they have provided to the culinary landscape

plus, it bugs me when food shows focus on stunt food like chicken fried bacon. some restaurant may have that as a gimmick, but no one really orders it.

But I really came here to say, nice piece on Lynda Barry in Bust this/last month. That book is one every new writer should read

[alex v cook]

"breaded pork tenderloin" I mean

[Beth]

Lost=Awesome! What a great season!
and Awwwww, love that picture of Gypsy.

[Elizabeth]

awww - Gypsy

[roopa]

Deep fried bacon drooooool

[jade]

re: your super rad canadian actor friend - could someone really be so fascinated by your blogs?

i know a few bloggers who blog about your blog & how so far removed you are from how you perceive yourself to be. you have been given an opportunity to live somewhere known ALMOST SOLELY for its culture & you've yet to immerse yourself in very much of it. instead you watch gimmicky shit on tv about the supposed land right outside your door. i find that so hardcore incredulous.

it is so ridiculous how you pass your opinions of NOT DOIN MUCH BUT BIG CHILLIN as EVERYTHING I EXPERIENCE (thru tv mostly) STANDS TRUE FOR ENTIRE SOUTHERN REGION OF UNITED STATES. also, you took a couple of moldy pictures down in new orleans & you saw one of the best new orleans acts in a baton rouge bar you only go to to see your hipster/brooklyn bands any other time, then think you have some ground on pointing out how NOT HIPSTER the crowd was (as when you usually go for your said hipster/brooklyn bands). you don't even realize how you told on yourself right there...

& for being so progressive you'd think i'd hear about things on your blog like this little treat i got in my inbox today inviting me to a party thrown by BATON ROUGE PROGRESSIVE NETWORK tonight. you talk so much shit (even if you passively do it through clever language) & it blows my mind because you never do anything worth mentioning & THERE IS SO MUCH TO DO. you have been so judgmental while not doing much to change your prejudiced views. you went to the damn cabela's chain store for crying out loud. & you sit indoors at your home "working" while taking pictures of your pet & your roaches.

by the way, do you know what the kids say about other kids when they want to offend them? "his house has roaches!" you might want to tone down the pictures of those things in your house as they are usually associated with "not clean" (think: photos of rats in your house) while you're talking about how different you are from the south.

i have suggested many an awesome thing to do in br & have yet to see you at any of them. two things upset me: that & the fact that a local publication endorsed the very blog that refuses to appreciate what it has to offer.

[cokane]

Butch, sorry to disappoint, I wasn't able to make it today. Too busy!

AVC, thank you! I haven't seen that issue yet myself.

Roopa, It's probably not vegetarian...

And Jade,

You ask, Could someone really be so fascinated by my blogs? It sounds like you are.

I'm just surprised you're reading this blog about one person's experiences if it upsets you so deeply. See, what I would do is just stop reading it. Problem solved.

Based on your rant, nothing I say or do is going to be okay. Going to different kinds of music shows, having a local hobby, sharing a touching email from a friend, "working" (quotation marks yours), enjoying New Orleans, trying to put a positive and/or funny spin on a less than ideal situation, those things are not okay, and every post adds more evidence to your case against me. Yet I should be doing/going to something, but only the things you have suggested.

And apparently, like, all these other bloggers totally blog on their blogs about what a mean and horrible person I am. Boo hoo! Sounds like they're folks I would really get along with.

[Alistair]

Dude, how do you get people to blog about your blog? Mine is wayyyy more offensive than yours, and I don't even get any comments, much less rants in other forums.

[Lauren]

You know, if you have roaches in your house, that's not a cute or normal thing. It's disgusting and you should call an exterminator.

I don't think it's fair to characterize southerner's as being obsessed with fried food. I mean... New York and BRKLYN certainly has their share of pizza/hot dog/fried twinkie loving fatties. People that are generally so concerned with what other people eat (particularly people that are disgusted by watching fat people eat anything other than salad) are generally terrified of becoming fat and is more of an indication of their own battles with food.

Additionally, Southern Louisiana (New Orleans in particular) has some of the best fine dining in the country. EVERYWHERE in the US has fried stuff with cheese. Get out there and experience the world beyond your bloob tube.

[Lauren]

You know, if you have roaches in your house, that's not a cute or normal thing. It's disgusting and you should call an exterminator.

I don't think it's fair to characterize southerner's as being obsessed with fried food. I mean... New York and BRKLYN certainly has their share of pizza/hot dog/fried twinkie loving fatties. People that are generally so concerned with what other people eat (particularly people that are disgusted by watching fat people eat anything other than salad) are generally terrified of becoming fat and is more of an indication of their own battles with food.

Additionally, Southern Louisiana (New Orleans in particular) has some of the best fine dining in the country. EVERYWHERE in the US has fried stuff with cheese. Get out there and experience the world beyond your bloob tube.

[Beth]

YEAH! And Colleen if you could stop using clam chowdaaaa because all of us here in New England are offended by your use of that phrase. We ALLL don't eat clam chowdah.
Phew-there I said it.

[jade]

i keep reading your blog with hope that you'll realize what a truly unshitty situation you have here. & sometimes i get upset with generalizing little comments that you make, but i've held my tongue & tried to be a good little blog commenter. it just hurts my heart that because you write for a living (who doesn't these days?) that you earn some right to dog a region of the country that doesn't suit your needs. & you think your opinion of a region you haven't even TRIED to explore beyond gun shops & football games is valid... all because you'd rather watch some garbage on tv about THE STOOPID SOUF & then blog about it as if it represents ANY PART OF ANYTHING SOUTHERN. & your blog-commenting troupe are just as closeminded as you come off.

& you're being just a little selfish to call your oh-so-horrible situation "less than ideal." you have a much more ideal situation than a huge part of baton rouge does.

& just to get the blog-on-blog action correct: there are blogs written on what your blogs say, not you as a person. more or less starts a discussion about the validity to what you say & always always always everyone from around everywhere thinks you're a lil bit ignorant. you have your comment troupe so that's all you really need anyway, right?

i thought you had an honest interest in learning & loving this place. & you even say you're starting to love it, but it never really seems like you mean it.

i'm a believer in "if you don't like something, change it."

[jade]

& a little word from my california friend (& if one is better than the other, cali overrules ny or nj any day):

friend: omg i LURRRVE chicken fried bacon
friend: with a poached egg and spinach
omgz
me: HAHAHAHA OMG YOUVE HAD IT?????
friend: i've made it!

so, there?

[vl100butch]

jade, i feel that the crusty old colonel should step in and say something at this point....

colleen has come a very long way since coming to baton rouge, and hopefully i've made her life a bit nicer by reaching out and sharing some of the things i like to do when in baton rouge with her...we are very different people...she's a young, hip artsy-fartsy type and me a grizzled old veteran of many a bureaucratic war (and 9/11) in the five-sided puzzle palace...

she also has a life away from the blog as a writer and editor...and she has reached out to some people that are entirely different from the types she knew in brooklyn (bravo zulu, kane-let a squid tell you what that means...)

my first few months at LSU (many years ago) was the same type of adjustment, having just been released from my first tour of active duty...even though i'm a 7th generation yat, baton rouge was different and it took me about a year to adjust...

so just because she's still in a bit of culture shock, and maybe interested in seeing more than the hipster types that she's known before, cut her some slack....

[Sarah]

Oh, Colleen, Colleen, my internet friend. I still love your blog, and also, people trolling the internet have not changed since the heyday of the AOL chatroom.

It is hard to go from living in one particular place to living in another entirely different yet also similar particular place, and I likes how you writes about it, baby.

FLAMEWAR! WOOT!

[Davydd]

That was my comment on the producers missing the breaded pork tenderloin sandwich. What you missed was those myopic producers concentrated on the coastal states with your assumption they eat healthy vegetables. After all they are the ones that produced the show. I stand by my comment. They flew over the United States and missed one of the most significant deep fried foods in the United States. Thus, they produced a flawed show. Here's proof. porktenderloinsandwich.com

[cokane]

Alistair, they clearly have a lot of time on their hands, so share your blog link!

Lauren, wait you mean to say that enormous cockroaches aren't cute? And are you implying I am not a model housekeeper? I resemble that remark. Your psychoanalysis was darling.

And I beg to differ about the foods of the region. Everywhere in the U.S. has greasy and fried food, just as most places have at least some fine dining. But the South takes unhealthy eating to the next level--it's an art form.

Beth, I know. I am SOOO regionist.

Jade, knock yourself out. I'm not going to engage here on these same old topics, so take it back to the debate squad. BTW, I doubt readers are going to see your comments about people dissecting my blog posts and walk away thinking how exciting this city must be.

Butch, so glad the crusty old colonel has my back. Good point that I have met many people outside my usual circles, like you! Thank you for your thoughtful comments and showing me your favorite things here.

Sarah, hey, good to hear from you. If there is a mountain to be made of a molehill, the Internets will find it.

Davydd, wow dude, not sure how you found this so fast, but honestly I could not care less about your pork tenderloin sandwich. But enjoy.

[Austin]

i've been reading this blog for a while now and i really don't get the impression that cokane hates baton rouge and doesn't enjoy herself. maybe i'm not a negative nancy, though.

[Lauren]

LOL!

You are so full of it. I'm glad that you enjoy playing the role of "sophisticate amongst the savages", I hope it entertains all of your friends over at BUST.

But, never for a minute think that what you do is any better than all of those rich white kids who go volunteer in soup kitchens to show how benevolent and "in touch with the little people" they are, all the while being obviously grossed out by poor people.

It's condescending and insulting to the people who live here when you make gross generalizations like these, especially when you don't bother to step outside of your door and actually experience the world around you.

[Trey]

For some reason the comments in this thread reminded me of this Andy Kaufman bit. :-)

[jade]

i love how you continue to talk about how your readers will come to hate baton rouge once seeing my comments... i guess i'm picking up your slack, right?

i could give two roaches about what your friends living in other parts of the world & complaining about it as well could think about our tiny lil southern town. what i do care about is (to quote lauren):

"It's condescending and insulting to the people who live here when you make gross generalizations like these, especially when you don't bother to step outside of your door and actually experience the world around you."

& tell me again exactly what other parts of the south you've miserably dredged yourself through to know ALLLLLL about the eating habits of southerners to make such a condescending generalization like "But the South takes unhealthy eating to the next level--it's an art form." did your tv tell you that, too?

it's very evident you are refusing to make the best of your oh so miserable life here. so long live the great white northern liberal! in your honor i shall wear high heels to every crawfish boil i ever attend again! except absolutely effing not...

[The Mighty Favog]

Colleen,

Your detractors are the liberals in the crowd. When I was less than laudatory about the Gret Stet, I got the hardcore detractors who went all racial right off the bat.

Read my comments and be of good cheer -- you're getting the high-class offended Louisianians:

http://revolution-21.blogspot.com/2008/05/dear-baton-rouge-ive-been-trying-to.html

[ecs]

Jade and Lauren reek of self-righteousness. Why would you get so worked up by a blog as innocuous as this one? If this blog offends you, you're living in a pretty sheltered and hyper-sensitive world.

Get a life. Or, better yet for your boss, get back to work.

[Lauren]

HAHAHA ECS!!!

Seriously, is that the best you can come up with?

"Get back to work."

Phhttt...

Now who is being self-righteous?