Interlude: Crossing the Mediterranean

We accidentally got to the port for our ferry to Barcelona several hours early. The small hangar of shops and booths there, while offering a surprisingly luxurious restroom complete with my favorite European bathroom special feature, the bidet, otherwise did not bode well for the trip. Our waiting area contained the rogues' gallery of ruffians speaking in unidentifiable foreign tongues that one might expect to find loitering at port areas, including a stocky tattooed punk guy.

Since the breeze coming off the Mediterranean was gorgeous, we went outside to wait under a palm tree. As soon as we opened our mouths to speak, we were greeted by the punk-rock kid, who was eager to talk to fellow English speakers. Turns out, despite his bruiser appearance, our new friend Kyle was Canadian, i.e., harmless.  He was 25 and traveling around on a Eurail pass, looking for a band to join. He was going to Barcelona just to see his friends' band Cancer Bats play. Before we made it onto the boat, we were fast traveling buddies, we'd agreed to attend the Cancer Bats show, and were planning to have a ridiculous time on the boat.

We were not disappointed.

Turns out, this boat ride wasn't the miserable third-world experience potentially involving livestock that we'd anticipated from the term "ferry": it was a low-budge cruise! (Money-saving tip # 2 for this time of the feeble dollar: taking this 19-hour overnight cruise from Rome to Barcelona was cheaper than taking a train.)

But before boarding the ship, we had to endure the line of hundreds in the afternoon sun. It would be more accurate to call it a crush. Some Europeans pretend to be oblivious to civilized society's convention of lining up. Thus, anyone who does try to line up is forced to presume that these strangers pressing their bodies into them have never been taught to line up. They must have been taught that if they want to get into a place a lot of other people want to get into, they just push forward until the goal is achieved. Bonus points for invading others' airspace with bodily odors no one would ever choose to have radiating just inches from their nose.

So we were resentfully placing an elbow here and a suitcase blockade there, when Kyle declared "BORING!" while smashing himself in the forehead with his empty plastic water bottle, alarming all in earshot, which since we were packed in a throng, was quite a few people. This "Young Ones" Vyvyan-esqe display only endeared him more to the fiance & I.

We finally boarded, splitting up from Kyle, and we found our seats in a large windowless room, as it filled up with singing and chattering Italian and Spanish teenagers (there were numerous school groups on the trip, unfortunately). The f set off immediately to see about getting us the hell out of that room and into a private one with beds. Kyle ran up, wild-eyed. "My room is fucking awesome! You guys should get assigned into it! This is the happiest I've been the whole trip," he said, and it was a sentiment he echoed a few more times on the voyage.

We got reassigned to Kyle's room, another windowless but mercifully private room which had four bunks, and instantly commenced Operation: Party Boat. We had three bottles of wine and each took one. We hooked up Kyle's iPod to our portable speakers and and he selected Creedence Clearwater Revival's greatest hits. Southern rock! I know I'm the uppity Northerner and we were there with a Canadian and we were on a European sea, but the CCR made me feel some American pride. 

Enter Giuseppe.

Poor Giuseppe. As I'd later observe, his only crime was being assigned to the wrong room.

He was a slender young Italian fellow who didn't speak-a much of the English, so our communications were minimal. He sat on the lower bunk next to Kyle explained in hesitant, broken English that he'd missed his boat yesterday so his bags were already in Barcelona.

He gestured to the music setup.

"What is...thees?"

"CCR, man! You know it?" Kyle said. Blank look from Giuseppe.

"It's classic rock," I tried explaining further. Blank look.

"Want some wine?" I offered him my bottle.

"No thank you." Giuseppe excused himself and could not get out of the room fast enough.

Kyle regaled us with tales, most of which involved him getting hammered and waking up the next day with a new misspelled homemade tattoo. When "Looking Out My Back Door" came on, he unveiled his Lebowski-themed homemade "SOBCHECK" ankle tatt.

Although our room was already full, two more passengers arrived at our door within a few minutes of each other, each with tickets matching our room number, and were greeted by this view.

Each of them quickly scurried away to get reassigned. At around 9:30 or 10, we headed up to the deck to check out the scene, and realized that our boat still hadn't even left the port (we were supposed to leave at 7) and we were already shablitzed. We got crummy dinner from the cafeteria-style restaurant and grabbed another bottle of vino. Back up on the deck again, the boat was now moving, and the last of the sunset was disappearing on the horizon. Once again, I felt like we were in a classic movie, except not at all.

The upper deck had a great bar/lounge area. Here, although it was already the end for me of what was to be an early night, I'm proud to have taken my favorite photo of the voyage: Giuseppe and Kyle. Be sure to notice the couple in the background.

What I had forgotten was that I can drink a bottle of wine in a short amount of time plus extra, but that means that sleepytime will follow immediately. The lads escorted me to our room where I climbed into the upper bunk and was out before they went on their merry way. Here is what I remember after that: being awoken by several announcements over the ship's PA, each made in Italian, then Spanish, then English. Vomming in our bathroom and hoping poor Giuseppe wasn't awake in his bunk, wide-eyed and afraid. Later, Kyle coming in to pass out and declaring he was going to sleep naked. Much later, the f coming in laughing and being annoying.

We all felt a little delicate the next day, but we had a good sleep-in since there was no daylight to wake us. I was disappointed I missed out on the discotheque with my early bedtime, and it sounded like the guys had had the time of their lives. Kyle had made out with some underage girl and the f had made a few BFFs, only one whose name he now knew, an older Welshman named Mitch.  

As we waited on line for food, one of the teenage guys passing by greeted him by name. "Hey..." he feebly waved back, with no idea who that person was. This time the meal was horrendous-- How can an Italian ship line mess up pasta? It was mush. But at least it cost like 12 dollars!

We spent the remaining few hours of the trip on the middle deck, hiding from the sun, watching the sea, hearing more tales from Kyle, and doing insensitive impressions of Giuseppe. I spotted the curving back of a dolphin or whale break the surface of the water for a moment and felt very lucky to be where I was. 

Comments

[therese]

Awesome.

[Lioux]

Colleen. After reading this, I think you and the F are ready tour with my band Sister Kisser®™©™.

It sounds like one of our typical days on the road.

Just replace the wine with bottles of vodka and whiskey.

[meanieT]

Oh, I miss my rambling traveling days! Oh, poor Guiseppe. Did that guy Kyle find a band?

[googlefritz]

sounds like a blast... hope yr enjoying the paiella!

[Elizabeth]

Sounds so much fun!!!

If only you could combine the looks of Guiseppe with the personality of Kyle (along with his tats), then you would have had the perfect souvenir to bring back to me!!!

And that older couple's expression - priceless.

[Big Daddy]

I love the random stuff and people you meet while on holiday.

[ayem8y]

Hmmm...From the looks of him, I might have enjoyed Giuseppe a little more than you guys did.

[jason]

I'm with ayem8y on that one.
(a la giuseppe)
mmmm

And Vyvyan! yeay! How the mention warms the cockles of my heart (or something like that)

[amy]

so much awesome! love that owl tat!! this is my fave euro blog so far.

[kartek]

I can hear in my head that elderly's couple thoughts as they spied Kyle and Guiseppe. It's too much!!!

[Apollo]

kyle's chest tattoo is awesome!

and that one dude needs to hike his britches up.

[suntawrites]

Beautiful photos of your adventure! :)