Before I get back to posting about our European vacation, a little about our fourth of July.
The f and I drove back from Texas Friday from a week visiting with family, not especially eager to get back to Baton Rouge and looking for distraction along the way. He wanted to stop at one of those fireworks stands to stock up for the holiday, and the temporary emporium we stumbled upon, shortly after crossing back into LA, was a doozy.
As I have no desire to blow things up, it had been a good 20 years since I was last in a fireworks store, at good old South of the Border. From what I remember, most of the fireworks at that time tended to have a more Asian look to the packaging, such as Hen Laying Egg pictured below.
Not so at Hog Wild! Hen Laying Egg-san was in the minority there. The fireworks in this place were all about freedom. Glorious, explosive freedom.
Texas Loud, Texas Proud. But here's a really special one: How You Like Me Now, featuring George W. Bush and Unspecified Brown/Middle Eastern Foe.
Can't you feel the barely-contained freedom in that one?
If none of those are enough explosive power, Hog Wild offered a six-foot tall, 200-lb variety pack ($1200 retail value) called The Big Bang, on sale for $349. I didn't think anyone would actually buy so many fireworks at once. But here's somebody about to do just that.
I think these might be the same two guys who were considering purchasing Hot Beef Sundaes at the state fair last fall.
Bag of explosives in hand, we made a pit stop at the gas station next door, where the men's rest room had this offering for sale:
The only way that parking lot could have had more freedom is if the gas station were one of these:
(Note that Freedom Fuel's store is called Cracker Barrel. No comment.)
Back on the road, we called our friend Jonathan to have him meet us for fireworks fun when we got back to BR. Of course first, we consulted Sensible Sam for proper safety precautions.
We began setting off some fireworks in front of Little Pink, as our neighbors up the street did the same, and we could hear others going off from farther away in other directions.
We had some pretty ridiculous fireworks.
The guys were shooting off bottle rockets and such, reminiscing about the alarmingly dangerous games they used to play with fireworks as kids like sawing off the end of a whiffle bat and using that as a rocket launcher to shoot explosive projectiles at "enemies." And being dudes, they couldn't resist blowing up a kumquat from our trees.
I was content to run around with a sparkler like when I was 10, with the dog running alongside me. When the neighbors up the way finished up their show, we thought we were being considerate by taking our show over to the nearby high school, where we'd have a whole open field and wouldn't be within such close earshot to houses. The plan made perfect sense, except for all those houses within earshot around the field. Before long, a patrol car was approaching the parking lot with a spotlight on us, announcing to "you guys and the dog" to stop what we were doing and come over to him. The cop asked us our ages and where we were from. "You're too old for this," he said, looking about half as amused as we were. Miraculously none of us laughed when he said, "Maybe they do stupid things in Brooklyn, but here in Baton Rouge, we don't do stupid things." In addition, he informed us this wasn't a rural area where you can shoot off fireworks anywhere, and that was a historic school right over there that we were endangering.
When our lecture was over, we snickered all the way back to Little Pink, Jonathan declaring it the best fourth of July ever, and we quickly agreed.