BaRou is the New Bklyn

European Vacation: Barcelona

Barcelona is a beautiful, breezy city by the sea. Our first view of town from the ship revealed old classic structures alongside modern buildings and sculptures. 

One example of the local mix of old alongside new is this seating at a fantastic modern park built when Barcelona hosted the Olympics, with the antique tower in the background.

The sight of sleek modern high-rises from the port was unexpected. I'd bet the Barcelona sklyine is vastly different than it was just two decades ago. And somehow, through the magic of the internets, we had booked a room at a four-star hotel for about half its normal rate, and it was one of those sleek buildings on that skyline, right near the end of the trip when we needed it most.

We hugged our pal Kyle goodbye as we got into a cab, with the travelers' knowlege that we might never see him again, even though we planned to meet him at the rock show that night.

European Vacation: Lake Como, Italy

I had never been to Italy before this trip, but had always wanted to visit. I'd avoided it previously on purpose: I used to travel with groups of friends on the lowest possible budget. That meant hostels all the way, thirty- bucks-a-night style, and nothing too fancy as far as food went. I sensed that Italy demanded a little more from visitors' participation than simply gulping down a falafel for lunch. It also appeared from afar like a romantic destination, and going there with a rowdy group would be like trying to party with friends at a honeymoon resort.

So I'm really glad I waited to go with that special someone who was willing to co-rack up the extra debt necessary for us to eat our faces off in Italy.

European Vacation: Berlin

From Holland, we took a train to Berlin.

I was still in my graffiti-tagged-arse jeans, which enabled me to blend right in with the other odd-clad Europeans on the train. I had been to several German cities, but never to Berlin. The f had been there before, but it was years ago, shortly after the wall fell. We'd both heard only good things about the city it had become in the decade-plus since then. Now it was time to see for ourselves.

Frito lays the snack down, country-style

After a weeks-long push to finish a lot of extra work, it's finally almost time to reap some rewards and get in much-deserved relaxation and recreation. The end is in sight.

Of course, zero of the numerous checks I expected and needed yesterday have arrived. I'm beginning to think it takes a zen mindset to get paid as a freelancer: only when you have cleared your mind of the desire for the money, then the money will come.

But that's okay, because look what I found while I was getting new tires at Wal-Mart:

It's a bag of McGraw's Spicy Jalapeno Fritos^R, with your host, country music's Tim McGraw. This snack sensation is Limited Edition, so once I sell it on eBay, I should be rolling in moolah. I did eat them all, but I should still get a few hundo for this bag.

Right?

It might be fun to think up some taglines for this limited-edition snack and share them in the comments. Maybe something about spicy snacks lighting a fire under your fanny... though something unrelated would probably be funnier. What would Tim McGraw say?

Another exercise for the comments: since nobody likes Tim McGraw (except like, the majority of Americans who listen to his music),  what musician would you rather see on a Frito-Lay brand (or other) snack? Bonus: And the tagline for that?

Makin' Bacon

...Chicken-fried veggie bacon, that is!

After a mention of my latest food discovery, chicken-fried bacon, proved unexpectedly controversial, I decided to try making it myself. Perhaps the first mention came off as wholesale disapproval, but I was actually a little in awe of this novelty creation. Like other unusual dishes I've discovered of late, it was like something I might invent while under the influence of a certain substance (but only someplace where it was legal, of course, such as the Netherlands). Since I'm a sometime-proponent of the credo "good things come in fried packages," and a fan of veggie bacon and gravy, there was a chance this could be amazing.

First I found the recipe for regular CFB online. I enjoyed the shame accompanying this one, the author's avatar, and especially the reference to Vitamin G-- grease! Be sure to check out the nutrition stats. One piece of CFB is 75% of the US RDA of fat.

Then it was time to unearth an old acquaintance known as Fry Daddy.

Grow your own

Totally grew this and then totally ate it. Picante.

Three less eggs to fry

I probably shouldn't post this for the preverts of the world to read, but the f recently departed for Europe for an unspecified amount of time. So far since he's been gone, I'ts been a pretty action-packed couple of days. I've been hit on by a stranger, cowered in fear at a potential home invasion, gone on an unintentional shopping spree, and gotten almost no writing done. Sorry, feminism, sometimes I can be such an unproductive girly girl.

Schlitz n Giggles Friday

In an ideal world, I should be the editor of Cheese Magazine--cheese as in cheesy, but hopefully this title would also get me many free samples of gourmet cheeses. Or, if Tom Scharpling decided to make a magazine themed around his term Awfulsome, I would ideally be a writer on their staff.
On the cheesy and awfulsome note, BFF/commenter Meanie T made my week by introducing me to the Utah filmmaker Stephen Groo. Some of you know of my obsession with Tommy Wiseau of The Room fame. But tragically Tommy has only made one full film and one totally bizarro trailer for a TV show. Groo is much more prolific, with more than 100 works under his belt. According to Meanie T, these films are dead serious, not ironic, and they often utilize fresh-faced local Mormons as actors, including numerous Mom-jeaned wholesome younger women.

I've only scratched the surface of the collection, available here on the website, with categories like Drama, Sci-Fi, and Horror, but here's some brief notes on a few I have watched. Some of these works are music videos, such as "The Boys of Summer," which when it says "nobody on the road" depicts nobody on the road, and ditto for the lyric "nobody on the beach." Now, I haven't been to music video school, but I would guess that literal translation of lyrics might be the first thing they tell you not to do. I'm not saying I don't break rules here and there...just saying Groo is a risk-taker. And although there's a comedic thread through other films, there's only one entry in the Comedy category, the perplexing work labeled on the site as "Gardners," which has a minute-long scene depicting Groo inhaling helium. Turns out when you inhale helium, your voice gets all high and weird! Oh, you've known that since you were five? Just sit tight, because the clip then becomes a campus-wide singalong to "She's Got the Look." That's comedy!

There are even parallels in a few movies to my main man Tommy Wiseau: Dialogue from the trailer for Challenge of Faith: "I got a promotion." "What's your new position?" "President." Only it looks like things don't turn out quite as expected...!

Anyway, welcome to a magical wonderland of time-wasting amusement. Thank Meanie T! Her sister went to school with that guy. 

Your mom goes to spring break

And then, I went to Miami.

Road to nowhere, part two

And now to sum up the rest of the past few days of this ongoing visit. I had planned my every-two-months-sanity trip this time to coincide with my mom's birthday and my friends' wedding. I call it a sanity trip because it is so reassuring to be around folks who I don't have to refer back to a blog post for the shared memories we have...there are no blog posts for these decade(s)-old memories, just the right catch phrase or look is enough to bring hilarities back.

The wedding on Saturday was in PA with the Jersey gang of friends I've been through high school and college with (and in some cases middle school, grammar school, and even little-kid-hood) and have traipsed around Europe with. We've had so many good/bad/ugly experiences together, and at this wedding two of us had another first together: oyster shots. It looked like this:

I had to run to the bathroom because the oyster got stuck in my esophagus. It was like doing a shot of phlegm.

(I am classy.)